This month has not been my favorite August. I have some pieces missing this August.
My oldest girl went to college this August. She was ready to go. I think I was ready to let her go. But that doesn't void out the emotions that swelled up all month while we were preparing for her to go. I only had a few meltdowns...somewhere between 3 and 17, I think :-P I am missing her coming in from work at 6 and helping with dinner. I am missing txting her BEFORE she left work to ask her to stop at Publix on the way home. I am missing txts from her telling me she is on her way home from a friends house or saying that she made it there ok. I am missing her stories about crazy (nameless) people she had to deal with on the phone at work. I am missing clothes-folding "parties" with her late at night while we caught up on episodes of Major Crimes or Duck Dynasty. I am not missing her loud music (well, I'm NOT). I AM missing the way she would listen to Jack Johnson or John Mayer or other soothing stuff when we rode together in her car. I am missing the conversations she, Dewayne, and I had over the years about grace, and freedom, and loving people, and being a leader, and growing up. I am missing her strong-willed personality (go figure), and her determined focus. Sometimes I even miss her bossiness, which really saved me from being the bad guy with the little kids a LOT over the past year (not sure if that is good or bad, but I enjoyed it). I am so proud of the young woman she has become.
The day after we took Waverly to college, I lost another piece...
My Dad, who I had rarely seen over the past 10 years...partly due to geographical distance, and probably more to do with the fact that we are both incredibly stubborn...had a massive heart attack and passed away. He just got a cup of coffee, mentioned how good he was feeling these days, went to the porch and died.
I am missing him. I am missing his motorcycle rides. I am missing the rare telephone calls that somehow felt like it had only been a few days since we had talked last. I am even missing being angry at him for not calling. I am missing his laugh and the way he made everyone else laugh when they were around him. I am missing his hugs (the Vibbert boys know how to hug). I am missing his bbq chicken (weird). I am missing holding hands with him on the couch while we watched "Cheers" on Thursday nights after dinner when I was a teenager. I am missing the reason that I thought it was not important to go to his wedding several years ago. I am missing the fact that he never really got to know my kids. I am missing that I never got to see him as Santa Claus. I am missing that my life is relatively unchanged since he has gone, except for this piece that is missing.
No comments:
Post a Comment